Perfect Summer day

"Uncle, that's mine, that's Didi's"


She came back from Mexico like a true Mexican, now she talks and talks and talks. That's my Didi. When I thought she couldn't get any cuter she did, she is more ticklish than ever. We went to the beach on Wednesday, she swam for a while. She came out of the water cold, wet and demanding a towel. I got the towel and wrapped her with it, held her in my arms and stood on the sand for a while, letting the afternoon sunlight to dry us faster.

There, in peace, at 'the secret beach', Didi and I quietly appreciated one of the most gorgeous sights of New Zealand, Rangitoto and Waheke Islands in the distance, not a single cloud in the sky, and a soft wind whispering 'happiness' once in a while. Laurence and Luca were hanging out in the distance, everything was perfect, a great summer day.

Until the beauty of the moment was broken by the following line:
"Luis, there's no toilet here, I really need to pee, what should I do?" - Said Ana nervously and impatiently looking around for 'options'.

- Some things never change -

Challenges

Can't define what's normal and what's not anymore. Since I arrived to New Zealand my life changed in so many ways and I don't want my old life back.

One of those massive changes were my new friends, my new family and these two kids. There are things in life that define your character and the way you face life. Some things are difficult tasks you must complete, also there are people you must deal with. As I said, in New Zealand I learned to deal, compete and accept challenges that life has put on my way.

You shall not date...

However, there are some things I wasn't willing to face and challenges I'm still reluctant to accept. As I said, I love Didi and Luca, they are my family, my niece and nephew. I will be there every time they need my help, advise and/or money.

I'm sure that my Luca will have a broken heart one day, and I'll be there to help him out. I'll put my hand on his shoulder and will say to him "You'll be fine, there are plenty of fish in the sea, let's move on son".

The same with Didi, I'll be there, as agreed with Laurence, protecting her from those hormonal young boys who, eventually, will knock on the door to pick her up. We've agreed to play bad cop good cop, Laurence and I, just to mess with these guys' minds. I'll take care of them, they are my family and I've learned a lot about myself through them.



As I said, there are things I've done here, challenges I've accepted and completed, difficulties I've overcame and people I've faced. I'll do anything for Laurence and Ana, I'll do anything for Didi and Luca.

Except changing nappies.

:)

Defining boundaries

After my “picking up girls at the supermarket” fiasco, Ana and Laurence couldn’t help but laugh for a whole week of my clumsiness. I’m Mexican, so people assume that we know how to flirt with random girls, to say nice things about their hair, eyes, smile or whatever. Some of us can’t! Definitely, hooking up in this country, while babysitting babies, was a challenge.

The following days I went to the supermarket just to see if I could see the ‘you F****** it up’ girl. I never saw her again, and I’m glad I didn’t because later on lots of random things happened to me that made me really happy. Regardless of that, many things were getting kind of funky at the house with the kids.

Every Monday we used to go to the kids' gym, Ana, Luca, Didi and I. It was cool to watch mums and kids interacting, running everywhere, senseless, pretending they were enjoying it for about an hour. Not many men used to go there with their kids, as I said before, only mums go there, and when I went the first time I got lots of ‘what are you doing here’ looks from them. Eventually, these amazons accepted me in their tribe, so I was allowed to hang out. However, sometimes other men will substitute their wives and got to hang out there as well. One time, one of these dads came for a visit, as usual I was taking care of Didi, having a conversation about life and Greek ancient history, she was delighted. I did notice that this guy was looking at me in a ‘what are you doing here?’ kind of way, however, so used by then to those looks I didn’t care that much. I walked around with Didi in my arms interacting with Ana and Luca while they exercised. The gym session ended, we packed our stuff, said goodbye to the tribe and went back to Ana’s home.

On Wednesday Ana went with the kids to the coffee group while I was minding my own business at my own flat (in case you thought I lived with Ana and Laurence), when she came back she had something to tell me. This guy’s wife, the one he replaced that day, told Ana something interesting. The conversation went like this:

Dad: Darling I went to the gym today
Mum: How did it go, did our kid have fun?
Dad: Pretty much, but you know Ana, the Mexican woman?
Mum: Yes
Dad: Isn’t her husband white and bald?
Mum: Yes, Laurence is white and bald, why?
Dad: Well... I saw her with this other brown and bald guy, he was taking care of Ana's baby girl, I think she is having an affair with this guy.

Ana did one thing: she laughed.

When Ana finished laughing she managed to say:
‘My husband is a wonderful man, first, and second, do you think that if I'm having an affair I’d bring him to my kid’s gym session to take care of my baby????? Of course not!

End of the story. I realized then, that I should set my boundaries more clearly to the external audiences. This is how we came up with the idea of printing a couple of t shirts that would read: ‘I’m just the uncle’, on the front and ‘... and I’m single’ on the back.

Also, I realized that men are bigger gossipers than women.

Where was I?

Where was I? Oh... right, I remember now.

Hello my four readers, for the last couple of weeks I haven't had time to write some lines about my life here in this amazing country. I have to confess something, I've been really busy due to things I'm doing now that I love to do. I still have many things to tell you, but let me bring you guys to the present time. I learnt many things during the last couple of weeks:
- Whale hunting is wrong
- Nothing good happens after 2am
- Compromising and Commitment are confusing and dissimilar terms
- Never tell "I told you so" to a mum of 2.
- Sleeping is overrated
- Assumptions and intuition can't be used as arguments during a conversation

And the most important one, I learnt how to change a nappy for the very first time. According to Ana it didn't count because it was a wet nappy... whatever, it does count!

Also, I'm happy, very very happy, struggling with a student/babysitter/jointentrepeneur busy life and facing a very uncertain but exciting future. I promised I'll come back soon with some "dirt".

Have a great day my four friends and keep on smiling.

The Coffee Group

Hello to my three followers. Are you guys enjoying this nonsense? Hope so, and if you do please leave a comment, what would you like me to write about and, or whatever.

Anyway, after that day at the gym, my very first day, I was all excited, right? I mean think about it; I have left my country with the mere intention of “let’s give it a try”; I’ve quit the job of my dreams (Oh... f***)... For the first time in many years I finally felt in total control of my destiny. So, with all these things in my mind I didn’t notice how my life was about to enter into a global warming created vortex, and I was being dragged into it along with nappies, babies, wipes, dummies, mums, pregnant women and not a single girl around.

Have you ever been in a place where everybody is looking at you like "what are you doing here?". Like attending a KKK annual meeting while being Mexican, brown and with an accent? Yes? No? Well that’s how I felt the first time I went to this coffee group. You might wonder what a coffee group is and what kind of coffee they offer. Well, one thing is for sure, pregnant women and mums don’t like to drink a lot of coffee, apparently their lives are full of other factors that help them to stay awake naturally.

Coffee groups are formed by a group of moms who get together every week with their toddlers and babies to just share the amazing discoveries they have accomplished while nurturing these little human beings.

‘My kid is teething now, how amazing! He has two front teeth now’- cried one.

‘My girl just said daddy three days ago, oh she is so clever’ – said another, covered in baby vomit.

‘My little boy doesn’t like veggies, he likes sweet stuff rather than mashed kumara’ – confessed ashamed one.

The list goes on an on with more examples like I just presented. One time I dared interrupting with:

‘Oh! Today I finally understood why the economic crisis hasn’t really hit New Zealand and the regional repercussions this could bring to improve the quality of life of the kiwis’

They looked at me totally unimpressed; suddenly the silence I created was broken by:

‘Oh, my baby’s poo is more compacted and looks better than last week, it must be all that kiwi she’s been eating’ – Said one lady

Everybody went ‘oh that’s awesome! Congratulations’

Really? Well anyway, that’s how I started to get involved with this clan, these people, mums who couldn’t believe I was enjoying hanging out with them. Later, I came to the realization that I was really enjoying sharing and chatting with these ladies. However, those stares and looks I got the first time I attended this coffee group still haunt me at night.

It’s just milk

Mums and very pregnant women, that’s what I found at gymnastics, a market I’ll never be willing to approach. Didi started crying, finally I noticed the puke on my black shirt, looked at Ana for some support.

It’s just milk – she said quite harshly – It’ll come off eventually.

Eventually? Like when she graduates from college? Didi got louder. I kept these thoughts to myself, saying them out loud would have only brought terrible consequences to humankind. Ana looked for something inside her purse; she pulled out a dummy and placed it in Didi’s mouth. Didi stopped crying. Ana took Luca and ran into the building. I put Didi in the stroller and followed Ana’s trail.

Pause. Let me tell you something about dummies, they are awesome! This little thing with a plastic bubble (apparently resembling a mother’s nipple) which comes in different colours and designs is just the most amazing invention of the millennium. Apparently you put this plastic bubble (which resembles the mother’s nipple, in case you forgot about it) in the baby’s mouth and they just suck from it like breastfeeding but not really. And for no apparent reason the baby falls asleep, stays quiet, calms down, stops screaming. This dummy device is the best thing that ever happened to me while taking care of these cute creatures. Every single man should have one of these things hanging from his key chain. True story.

So, I managed to get the stroller inside the YMCA building, took the elevator to the second floor where the gymnastics class was held. Ana was already there in a circle with other 12 mums with their kids. It looked like some sort of an ancient ritual. A ritual that only mothers know about and they don’t tell anyone else about it. I entered the huge indoor basketball court with my precious niece. Ana looked at me from Salem’s witch round like saying “just sit down on one of the seats by the side of the court and take care of my baby, meanwhile just worry about nodding and smiling when other mums look at you”. Oh she is awesome at telepathic conversations. So, I did the only thing I know how to do the best: just do as you are told and you’ll be fine.

On my way to that seat, pushing this stroller with this little baby half asleep in it I could feel the stares of these women, these mothers, these (most of them) very pregnant mothers. Some of the kids glanced at me like if I’ve just entered the wrong room. Even the gymnastics trainer seemed disturbed by my presence there. To be honest I never looked into that direction on my way to the seats, however, I’m sure that’s pretty much how it happened. I approached to this set of seats in order to sit down, just the way my friend told me to do so.

Put Didi in my arms, sat down and suddenly I realized that definitely this was completely different to my life back in Mexico. Didi puked a little bit more “milk” on my black shirt. Oh, did I mention the gymnastics trainer was kind of cute? At least she wasn’t very pregnant or married. However, she never looked at me nor spoke to me ever. Ana’s response 4 weeks later: “She thought you were someone’s husband”.  

The Gym

Really people, 50 km/hr? It’s like you drive slowly so you don’t catch up with the rest of the world. I was recently invited to an 80’s theme party. I thought for a while where to get a proper outfit from the 80’s, and then I realized I just need to go to any store in Auckland and,... sorry but true story!

Anyway, where was I? Oh right, so I woke up in New Zealand. Believe it or not, babies are loud. So I arrived on a Friday and I tried to recover from that long flight over the Pacific Ocean during that weekend. On the first night Didi cried and cried and cried and cried and cried... and then she breathed just to cry a little more. On Sunday, while having dinner, Laurence, Ana’s husband, was telling me about how lucky I was by being single in New Zealand. Yes, apparently there are more women here than men, amazing fact number 231 of kiwiland.

- Oh, Luis, tomorrow I’m going to take you to the kids’ gym – Ana said quite excited – lots of women go there, you’ll see.
- Gymnastics? – I replied meanwhile Luca’s eating habits were really distracting me (he was just throwing his food on the floor and spilling water on the glass table) - Your kid goes to the gym?
- Of course, we go every Monday – Said Ana not really minding Luca’s surreal food art on the table.
- Yes Luis, that’s a fantastic idea - concurred Laurence.
Uhhhhh... lots of women! Sounded really weird that they get together at this gym on a Monday morning, but, hey, new country new rules right?

Anyway, one thing was for sure, I wasn’t really interested on going out with anyone or even flirting with any girl at that moment. I still had feelings for this girl who I was dating back in Mexico. Hey, I had to say it, true story, I know she reads this. However, just wondering and looking around wouldn’t hurt anyone right?

Monday 6 am, baby girl crying, someone walking to the kitchen to get something from the fridge, little boy watching cartoons on the telly, someone showering, and me, me in this tiny room just laying there asking myself “why Luis, why?”.

Finally the noises ceased, I went back to sleep for one more hour. At 10 am Ana woke me up and told me were on a mission that day.
- We are going to gymnastics today – Ana said while changing Luca into a much sportier outfit - Many of the girls from the coffee group go there as well.
- Coffee group? – I thought coffee group was a coffee tasting club or something.
- You’ll find out eventually, just get ready and please hold Didi while I dress Luca – she put Didi in my arms and went with Luca, who was much focused on this kids morning show rather to his mom’s demands to put some tinny jeans and t-shirt on.

So there I was, with a baby on my arms, wearing only my pyjamas (must thank my mom for this amazing pyjamas, so comfy and warm, deep blue shirt and square trousers, sometimes I even go to the supermarket wearing only this... kidding Mom!) wondering how much time would I have left to brush my teeth. Apparently Ana was reading my thoughts while I was holding her newborn.

Luis, you’d better get off your pyjamas, brush your teeth and wear something comfortable – she said this while Luca was looking at me with this “please do as told” look in his eyes.

Yes, yes, are we late? – Dumb question, never ask a mom if she is running late, they are always late, and if you complain about it they will give you the most amazing comeback in human history “Try being on time with two kids”. Oh it was hard to find some clothes in my 20 kilos full of my only belongings bag.

Ana looked at me with this response in her eyes, so, we were late. Quickly, I put Didi back into her mom’s arms and rush into the bathroom, got changed, brushed my teeth and splash some water on my face. “The fastest Mexican ever” I thought while Ana yelled (more like a roar) from the front door “Hurry we are late!”

She drove and drove and drove (at the incredible speed of 50 km/hr) until we got to this nice building by a park. We got off the car, Ana took Luca straight into the YMCA and I had to put the stroller in proper position in order to place Didi there. You have no idea how complicated a stroller is for someone with no experience whatsoever in kids or babies. Five minutes later Didi was in the stroller’s seat, with her seat belts on and her dummy in her mouth. We were ready to rumble at gymnastics. Finally I entered the gym, in fact there were lots of women, Ana and Laurence were right.
- Wait a second... they are all mums or very pregnant mums Ana – Said sadly and somehow disappointed.
- What were you expecting? – Ana answered totally unaware of my sadness and disappointment.

Didi puked some milk on my black shirt, I didn’t mind. Gymnastics is hell.